An Engineer's Guide to Writing a Novel - The Idea

The Idea.  Where does it come from?  What's a good one?  Good questions...

First of all, the Idea is critical.  Some truly awful, poorly written books have been created, published and produced a huge amount of money all because the Idea spoke to a large demographic.  Readers will put up with typos, grammatical errors, discontinuities and other literary offenses if they're intrigued by the concept.

But don't use that as an excuse to put less than your best work out there.  Seriously.  It's embarrassing.  A great idea will translate into a great book with just a bit more effort.  And, you don't know if your idea is truly great or merely good.  Theoretically, the former will prevail, but the latter requires nurturing and will languish if readers can't make it past the first chapter, maybe not even the first page.

Okay, that was a rant, and I'm done with that.  Where were we?  Oh yes.  The Idea.

Where does it come from?

1. Observation followed by back braining.  Sorry if this sounds trite, but it's true.

Example 1:
When I first started writing novels, I attended a lot of workshops and conferences.  And received a lot of rejection and harsh critiques and not a lot of positive feedback.  Was told "You're what's wrong with publishing today.  Editors are overwhelmed with mediocre writing to the extent that they overlook truly quality literature.  Like what I write."

Driving home from this particular workshop and still stinging from the criticism, I watched corn fields zing by and thought I'm surprised more of these critics aren't knocked off my impassioned writers.  There would be so many suspects.  Of course, since I was the only one with enough back bone to say anything, I'd be the prime focus.  Hmmm...  Et voila!  Workshop 'Til You Drop

Example 2:

After a few years as an engineer, I dreamed about working from home as a consultant and only interacting with my fellow designers when presenting completed projects.  And getting paid beaucoup bucks for my extraordinary work.  So I read a lot and researched what it would take to become a consultant.

I came across an article that proposed "When working from home, make sure to set up an area where you can be completely alone and without distractions.  Preferably geographically as well as electronically isolated.  Turn off your phone, lock the door and concentrate on your work."

This percolated around in my head until popping out as What happens if you shut yourself off and tell everyone not to bother you and you have a heart attack or an accident and hit your head or if you're attacked by creatures from an alternate dimension and can't reach anyone because you're geographically and electronically isolated... 
The Basement Office was born.

2. What's hot.  

As soon as a best seller appears, there's a flurry of copycats.  Agents, editors and publishers cry out for the next Hunger Games, Fifty Shades of Grey, or Harry Potter.  And people want to prolong the experience and are receptive to the genres.

However.

When is the topic hot and when does it cool off to a level of tepid mush?

If you have an idea that fits a trend or, even better, have already written the book and were waiting for an opportunity to shop it - great!  Now's your chance!  Well written, coupled with a great idea, you could be Divergence to Hunger Games, Sword of Shannara to Lord of the Rings.

On the other hand, if you're writing a book just because you want to be rich, too, it's probably going to fail.  Probably.  Maybe not. It's a weird world.

3. What an agent, editor or publisher is looking for.  

In their bios, publishing figures have call-outs for what they're accepting.  This can be a wellspring of ideas as something might sing to you and set off a creative fervor.  

I've had this go both ways.  One was to write a Christian Romance, the other is a project I'm working on right now.  The former was a huge, colossal bust.  Mainly because I don't read this genre and really didn't understand what I was writing.  And I hated every minute of it.  The latter is something I'm excited about, but have no idea how it will be received.  I'll let you know if this is my breakout novel...

But be careful.  These publishing figures remind me of teenagers in love.  Tommy is the sexiest, funniest boy in school and I love him and will always love him and want to go out with him and just him forever...  Is that Sam?  Sam is the sexiest...

So what makes an idea good?

Honestly, this is the conundrum that's vexing everyone in the publishing industry today.  Don't over think it - this leads to analysis paralysis.  

Write what you read.  Write what you love.  Write for fun.  Above all, write.  The rest will fall in line...

An Engineer's Guide to Writing a Novel - Intro

All of us are comprised of various skills, talents and facets.  Personally, I consider myself an author, sailor and engineer, in order of importance.  Hence the name of my blog.  I'm fascinated by the amazing originality and creativity that emerges when we embrace the components that contribute to who we are and celebrate our uniqueness.

To that end, I decided to share two components that have helped me become a twice-published author - engineering and writing.  The topic will be divided into phases and posted as a series of discussions rather than one long diatribe.  At the end, you should have the tools and a framework necessary to write a novel of whatever size you want and, either have it ready for submission to agents/publishers or publish it yourself.  I don't guarantee you'll be picked up by a publishing house and make a gazillion dollars, but you will know what it takes to write that mystery/memoir/travel log/drama/ young adult novel you've been talking about for years.

Let's pause for a moment and wait for the shrieks and the gasps to die away.

When I've brought this up before, the purely literary creative types have practically tarred and feathered me.  You can't weigh down creativity with structure and guidelines.  The artiste must be allowed to create unfettered.

Okay.  But some of us need some structure to keep moving forward and make progress.  And, in the case of a mystery or thriller, it really helps to keep who did what, when and where straight.  That avoids those uncomfortable realizations that the person wielding the knife at our hapless protagonist was actually killed off in the fourth chapter...



As a foundation, it's helpful to know the elements of engineering--specifically software engineering--that are pertinent.  Typically, a project is broken down into phases, which follow a general pattern with, of course, some room for personalization.  Here are the phases I'm presenting:
1. The Idea
2. Research
3. Design
4. Implementation
5. Testing and Quality Control
6. Delivery
7. Maintenance and Continual Improvement - may involve returning to an earlier phase.  Forever.

Come back for the next post to find out where Ideas come from!

Racism - Alive and (Un)Well

Recently, I experienced the privilege of meeting a wonderful lady who has set up a successful Bed & Breakfast business.  With the advent of bringing the Triumph up to a 'charterable' state, I'm seeking to do business with this woman.  My husband and I met her and her husband at their home, which is also a B&B, to finalize some contract details.

While waiting for the hostess to finish up some tasks in the kitchen, we waited, along with two men from the Netherlands, in the foyer.  Our host ushered the two men upstairs and then led Doug and I into a lovely Victorian-style formal living room.  A little too fluffy and cluttered for my personal taste, but I don't believe the Victorians ever met a piece of lace, tassel or crystal that they didn't adore.

Within minutes, our hostess joined us and we proceeded to discuss the details of our business relationship.  Her invitation has stated 'tea', with the result that I was surprised there was no evidence of coffee or tea or any beverage.  I had double-booked against a birthday gathering, so was okay that we would get in and out.  As we wrapped up our discussion, she announced, "I just have a few more things to get ready, but you can go on into the dining room for dinner."

Uh. Uh. Uh.

Doug, never one to hold back, "I thought we were just coming for tea."
Hostess "I'm from New Orleans - when friends come, we always have dinner."

Thank goodness for SmartPhones.  Definitely wasn't going to forego a New Orleans dinner for cake and coffee.  I texted my friend, who assured me it was okay and we went into the dining room and enjoyed roast chicken, a saffron/corn risotto and fresh tomatoes with sparking wine.

While we were eating, our hostess had to take a phone call, which was quick, and then rejoined us.  By now, we're about 45 minutes late for the birthday 'do, but the dinner and conversation was worth it.


As we made our apologies and prepared to leave, our hostess shared that the phone call was from the gentlemen who had arrived with us.  After being shown to their rooms, they grabbed their stuff and left, checking into a local hotel.  They then called the office of the B&B, not realizing that our hostess was not just a member of the system, but the owner and manager.  The complaint was "We had no idea you would put us in a home owned by African-Americans.  There's no way we can stay there and we want a full refund."

Even now, a day later, I'm shocked beyond words.  Really???  Both my husband and I expressed our shock and dismay, but our hostess, lovely woman that she is, laughed it off.  "If they really think they'll get their money back, they have another thought coming...  It's happened before, it'll happen again.  We move on."

I'm still saddened by this.  In spite of her strength and her ability to shrug it off, it has to sting.  And it's so unfortunate.  The only silver lining that I can see is that these idiots probably checked into a Holiday Inn Express or other sanitized lodging and will never experience her risotto.  Their world is a sadder, less rich place...

And to finish out the story, the birthday gathering was not where I thought it was, but about twenty minutes further away.  By the time we arrived, we were an hour and 15 minutes late.  And no one had received their food yet.  And the last couple arrived an hour after us.  And my world is a beautiful, shining place, full of beautiful, shining people...

Talk Therapy and Other Modern Inventions

Recently, I've stepped WAAAAAY out of my comfort zone and participated in public conversations.  Facebook, Twitter, even this blog.  Being chronically shy, it has been difficult.  Especially when I get my knickers ripped any time I say anything.  Case in point is the micro-drama about  me not being an owner of my corporation, Triumph Ventures.
My approach to dealing with feeling dis'd is that I take action.  Since some people are impressed more with titles than with facts, my husband submitted our annual corporate report and announced me as the CEO.  Since I'm responsible for a lot of the strategy and vision, it makes sense.

The other thing that I do is I talk to my friends, my family and, especially, my mother.  A few years back, I confided in a doctor that I was feeling agitated.  I didn't want to take medication, to which he responded that I should participate in "Talk Therapy."  A form of therapy where you discuss what's going on in your life with a small, intimate circle of people you trust.

Huh.

Like my friends, family and, especially, my mother...

I'm WAAAAAAY ahead of the curve....

Woman Owned Business, CEO, President and Other Corporate Entities

First, a little self-promotion!  The new and improved Triumph Charters website is up and running!  Still have to update the menus and reservations service, but definitely an improvement.  A good friend of mine and an excellent web designer updated the Accommodations pictures and I finally got Dreamweaver running again and updated the rest.  

Triumph Charters is officially open for the Boston Summer 2014 Season!  Now, if summer would just get here...

Which led to a micro-drama in the marina.  A neighbor is using Fundables to purchase an antique motor yacht with the goal of becoming the "only woman owned chartering business in Boston Harbor" and providing a "unique chartering experience."

Being neighbors and acquaintances, I checked it out.

Their offerings are almost identical to ours.  So much for unique.

And I became curious.  What constitutes a woman owned business?  And what is the difference in a CEO and a President?  So I Googled them.  Here's what I found:
Woman owned Business:
The most essential requirement for achieving certification as a women-owned enterprise is majority control. That means a woman must own 51 percent of the business to qualify for certification. However, ownership is just a small part of the equation. The term ownership goes beyond numbers in this case. A woman must also hold the highest position at the company and be active in daily management and the strategic direction of the company. "Ownership is a very easy thing to do on paper, but if the woman is not the visionary and holds the office manager position, for example, that's the kind of thing that will halt a certification," says Harris-Lange. So before moving forward, make sure that you have several ways of proving that you are leading the company, from doing the hiring and firing to any planning documents.

In addition to being a majority owner, a woman must also be a U.S. citizen, and it is recommended that she be in business for at least six months. If you meet these three main requirements as a business owner, you can begin the process of putting together your application. 

CEO vs President:

The CEO differs from the president in that the former is in charge of carrying out the long and medium-term goals of the company while the latter concerns himself with its day-to-day operations.

It is the CEO's job, then, to see to it that the company makes as much profit as possible by conceptualizing a workable (and profitable) long-term plan of action and applying cost-efficient policies and techniques, sound sales and marketing strategies, and performance-optimizing initiatives. As for the president, it is his job to ensure that the company machinery (people and equipment) runs efficiently like a well-oiled machine.

Whereupon, I requested that my neighbor change the verbiage from 'only' to "one of a select few".  I also know for a fact that there are other charter businesses that are woman owned.

Her response was
I checked out your website when you first arrived and assumed your business wasn't active
Plus, I looked up your corporation on line and Doug[my husband] is the president and you are the vice president.  There is no indication that you are an owner.

Huh.

Two results percolated out of this.
1. After decades in business and the corporate world, people (men and women alike) still judge me from the outside and completely disregard my accomplishments and abilities.
2. Once the people in (1) make up their mind, there is little chance of changing it.  And it only leads to frustration on my part.

This reminds me of a quote from my uncle (I know he didn't create it, but in his Kentucky drawl, it's adorable) "Never try to put lipstick on a pig.  It frustrates you and annoys the pig..."

And regardless of how people perceive me, I'm not going to change my business attire.

I Made It! - Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award - ABNA Round Two Entrants Announced

Very excited! Made the second round selection of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards with my murder mystery, Workshop 'Til You Drop. The next key date is April 14th, where the Quarter Finalists will be announced. Tuesday is much better than Monday, this week... Of course, when isn't it? 

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award - Second Round Finalists

Mondays and Other Gray Things

Have to confess, some Mondays are just more Monday'ish than others.

Today, it's cold and gray and generally miserable.  Even if it is St. Patrick's Day.

Had a lovely Irish Boiled Dinner with friends last night.  Have to confess, she made a convert out of me.  All along, I thought I disliked Corned Beef and Cabbage.  Turns out, it was simply made incorrectly.  Her approach was flawless and delicious.  She used two kinds of brisket: New York and New England.  The former is dyed red and the latter is naturally gray.  Both were tasty, but I preferred the New England as it seemed to be better seasoned.

Can't say I will ever order this in a restaurant, because I can't be guaranteed that her recipe is followed, but I will keep a more open mind about Irish cuisine from here on in.

And, of course, soda bread will always be welcomed...

"Workshop 'Til You Drop" Amazon Countdown Promotion

Thank you to all the Goodreads members that signed up to win my book, Workshop 'Til You Drop!  I hope it entertains you as much as I was entertained by creating it!  The final tally was almost 500 members requested my book.  Awesome!  Will be sending them out tomorrow and very excited for everyone.  Please leave a review, good or bad.  I try to have a thick skin and just appreciate someone taking the time to give me feedback.

To celebrate my foray into marketing, I've set up an Amazon countdown promotion.  It begins right after the giveaway.  The way it works is that for the first 24 hours, the eBook will be available for $.99, next 24, $1.99, next $2.99 and then it will revert to the normal price of $3.99.

Sooo...  If you don' win the giveaway but would still like to read my book, you can obtain the eBook for a discount!

Still working on how to sign them...

Friends of the Library, Annual Meeting - Poynette WI

Excited!  I've been asked to be the guest speaker / author at the Annual Meeting for the Friends of the Library, Poynette WI.

Hope the refreshments are good!

eBooks and Other Publishing Enigmas

My Kindle is one of my favorite possessions.  Especially now that the airlines accept that using one during takeoff and landing will not cause an aircraft to veer wildly off course.  And I've enjoyed some amazing authors through it.



Angella Graff
Curse of the Lion's Heart
The Awakening (The Judas Curse)




Rachel Smith
Night of the Squirrels: Dawn of the Interns
&
Night of the Squirrels: Day of the Robots
Comedy/horror trilogy about the Squirrel Apocalypse.  C'mon, Rachel!  Where's the third???









Grant Arboro
Cracking Up








And lots more, but I want to finish my blog post today...  I should make a list.  I'm good at lists...

But this is one place where I believe the traditional publishing houses have it not just wrong, but spectacularly, catastrophically, business-crushingly wrong.

I understand a lot goes into publishing a quality piece of work.  I've been through the process.  And a lot of people are involved.  Not for me, but maybe someday.  But.

But.

A portion of the cost of a paperback and/or hardback is the materials.  And the cost of printing.  That's why a hardback costs more than a paperback.

I understand this concept.

So why does an eBook cost almost as much as the paperback if it comes from a traditional publisher?  Why aren't they going for volume?  At least Amazon is on the right path with the Kindle Matchbook concept.  That is, if you buy the print copy, you get the eBook for free.

Great.

But when a paperback is $7.32 and an eBook is $6.59 -- something is very, very wrong.  Sorry, Mr. King, I know you need to keep getting richer, but seriously...

Maybe this is one of the reasons the traditional publishers are struggling.  Simple economics.

Of course, by this reasoning, I should be selling all of my books for $0.99 on Kindle.

True.

But my vanity and pride take over.  I'd rather have people not read Workshop 'Til You Drop at $3.99 than not read it at $0.99...

Facebook and Other Modern Enigmas

This post caused me to hesitate, because I do not in any way want to offend my friends.  However, that is the underlying problem I have with Facebook and other public, one-way, social media.  I find it very, very difficult to communicate properly through these venues.  Invariably, I wind up either being offended or offending someone else.  Here are two examples:

Conversation 1 - Sicily
[Me] I just took a survey and I'm Renaissance Italy!  Awesome!  Since I'm traveling to Italy at the end of April, I consider this serendipity :)
[Friend 1] Sicily isn't Italy
[Me] Sicily is owned by Italy and, while autonomous, is a region of Italy
[Friend 1] Sicily isn't Italy

[Friend 2] I'm traveling to Italy also.  The tour books say Sicily is part of Italy
[Friend 1] Sicily isn't Italy

[Friend 3] Sicily is officially an autonomous region of Italy
[Me] I'm still excited about going to Sicily and I will probably still say I'm going to Italy
[Friend 1] Sicily isn't Italy

[Friend 4] This 'autonomous' region has 28% unemployment



Conversation 2 Savannah Cat
[Friend] The Savannah Cat is the largest breed of domestic cat.  It can be trained to fetch like a dog and chirps.  I want one!
[Me] What a beautiful cat!  Unfortunately, water and cats don't mix.  If they fall overboard, the claws come out and anyone trying to help them becomes so much hamburger.

[Friend] They are friendly and even tempered.  They are not vicious in any way.  This is not a dangerous breed and should not be labeled as such.  

[Me] I'm sure they're wonderful cats; no offense meant.  I have a personal experience where a cat fell in the water and a well-meaning friend tried to fish it out.  His arms looked like he'd done battle with barbed-wire by the time the cat was back on dry land.  So, while I live on a boat, no cats for me.

[Friend] They are not vicious.

This is a major reason why I keep comments to a minimum and just lurk in the background and look at pictures of kittens and puppies and other innocuous baby animals.

I learned that female elephants have two teats and to drink, the baby elephant uses his mouth, not his trunk (I suspected this, originally...)  What I did not know is that the baby elephant has to learn to get his trunk out of the way while nursing.  The optimal way is to swing it over his head.  

Adorable!  Now, I'm happy...  

Hamburgers and Other Guilty Pleasures

Whenever I'm feeling down, whether by my own hand (hangover) or an external force (winter that drags on FOREVER), my favorite indulgence is a hamburger.

And not a (semi) healthy turkey burger, ground chicken burger or a veggie burger, but a fat-rich, cholesterol-laden, dripping with cheese and bacon 100% ground beef hamburger.  Okay, a bison burger is acceptable if it has bacon on it...






Recently, I was headed to the Union Oyster House in Boston, never having been to such an iconic place.  A half dozen oysters was $15.95.  Being a Florida girl, this horrified me.  Especially as the place next door, the Green Dragon Tavern, was proclaiming "Oysters $1."  I put down the menu and scuttled next door, where I ordered a dozen oysters and a Guinness.



While reading the specials, I discovered "The Bearded Dragon" - a burger that was so good and so sinful that it moved me to write a Yelp review.

Grilled beef, cheddar cheese, jalapenos, bacon, red onion, tomato, lettuce, and topped with a fried egg.

To quote Jimmy Buffett"  "Heaven on Earth with an onion slice..."

This got me to thinking about other burgers I've had in the area.  In no particular order, these are some of the good ones:
Wild Willy's - either the Bubba Burger or the Buffalo Bill.

Five Guys - whatever you want to pile on

Joe's American Bar & Grill - Joe's Signature Burger; love the bacon jam and usually get the sweet potato fries

With all of them, I'd highly recommend sharing an order of fries...

Book Trailers - Productive Ad Venue or Just Another Bad YouTube Video?

  

Over and over I've been told that I have to produce book trailers.  I must produce book trailers.  Life, civilization and everything I hold dear will come to an end if I don't produce a book trailer.

Ka-Boom!


Same will happen if I don't Tweet, Post, Email, Instagram, Pinterest, Hold Events, Upload to YouTube, Add Books on Goodreads and Comment on Blogs...

I'm attempting all of these venues.  In fact, I'm talking to a friend about producing one or more book trailers.  You lucky readers, you...  When material is ready, I'll upload it to YouTube.  There are sites that handle book trailers, but, much like agents, editors, publishing houses and book sites, they're inundated with requests and won't take you unless you come recommended by agents, editors, publishing house or book sites.  Round and round and round they go.  I'm riding the carousel, but hoping to grab the brass ring and exit successfully.





But maybe there isn't hope to get off the carousel; this engraving is from the early 1800's.  Maybe Sally was wrong.  Life isn't a cabaret, it's a carousel.

Navigating the New World of Publishing - A Hedgehog of Possibilities

Time and again I'm told that today's world of publishing is not about turning your book over to an agent and letting them and the publisher present it to the world.  Not at all.  With all the media available to the layperson, aspiring authors are now responsible for their own marketing.

And there are a lot of possibilities.  A veritable hedgehog of possibilities.  Hundreds of spines, all connected yet jutting out in different directions.  And easy to prick yourself on them if you set up your user name, email address, comment, posting, tweet or other public offering incorrectly.

I once owned a hedgehog.  Thought it was really cute right up until the pricks from its spines became infected and my hands swelled up.

Now that I've put myself out there--I have an author's page on Amazon, a giveaway on Goodreads, I even put out a Yelp review-- I guess it's time to sit back and wait for the pricks to become infected.  Or fight them.  Could definitely fight them...

Candy Crush and Other Addictions

There are a few things in my life that I overdo.  Chocolate, fried chicken wings, wine.  Those are a few.  But I can push them away. I eat one or two Godiva chocolates a day.  C'mon -- look at them!


And, especially with friends, I drink more than one glass of wine.

And don't even get me started on fried chicken wings.  I'm constantly reminded of a quote from So I Married an Axe Murderer  

Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.

Tony Giardino: So who's in this Pentavirate?

Stuart Mackenzie: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?

Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!

But none of these compare to my addiction to Facebook games.  You'd think that I could avoid crushing candies and tracking down virtual killers and discovering shadowing conspiracies.  But each have a daily 'Check-in" offering.  Play every day and you get additional bonuses.  Miss a day and your reward decreases.  Watch a video and you get extra prizes.  Note that I never, EVER give them money.  Talk about a slippery slope...  Candy Crush is generating over $600,000,000 in revenue a year.  WOW!!!

I have culled my list to only those that I really enjoy.  The aggressive games that confuse actual players with a general sampling of my friends, to entice me to "Invite them to play", I avoid.  Because some FB friends consider an invitation to play to be on the same level of disagreeing with their politics or insulting their mother.  Here's my short list:

1. Pearl's Peril

2. Criminal Case

3. Candy Crush

4. Papa Pear Saga

5. Farm Heroes Saga

Once I being to play, I promise "Just one more scene.  One more level.  One more try."  The next thing I know, it's ten hours later and I've done nothing.  Except Just one more scene.  One more level.  One more try.  It's very, very sad.  

I have to put this to good use.  I think I'll write about it...