Spring Has Sprung! And the Geese Are Nesting...

My husband, an adorable city boy, came bursting onto the boat with the news that a mallard duck had built a nest in a planter just down the dock from us.  He first became aware of the nursery when the male hissed at him for wandering too close.

Having contracted a cold from venturing outside of 128 - yes, I visited my mother in Wisconsin - I did not leave the boat until this morning.  Curious, I checked out the planter/nesting side and was confronted by a very angry Canada Goose.

Did I mention my husband is a city boy?  Bostonian, to be exact.  At least he had the right class...  Aves to be exact.

Anyway, the mother goose is nestled in a planter with a discarded boat fender taking up the majority of the open dirt.  Maybe the fender makes her feel protected and comfortable, especially with her mate standing guard.  Concerned that this is the time of year that the landscaping goes in, I approached the manager at the marina.

Me: Can you talk to the landscapers to make sure they don't bother the nest?
Manager: Weeeeelllll...  Don't know if that's possible.
Me:  How long is the gestation period?
Manager: 28 days.  A long time, but it is only one planter...  Should be able to leave it alone.
Me: If it's a real problem, I'll personally plant the flowers once the geese are gone.
Manager: I'll talk to them, but I can't promise anything.

In a strange, silly way, my heart is broken at the thought of the babies potentially being destroyed.  So I looked up facts on Canada Geese.

Interesting.

Wild Goose Chasers - Protection Under Federal Law

In a nutshell, Canada Geese are protected under the Federal Migratory Bird Act of 1918.

Huh.

Did not know this, but it makes me feel better to know that the mother and her babies are, technically, protected.

Now just need to make sure that the landscapers and the marina knows this.  It doesn't make me feel better to know the law is on the side of the vulnerable if the vulnerable is still injured.

Fingers crossed.

Update - the Marina is contacting the Massachusetts Wildlife Department to see about relocating the goose family.  Interesting that once they contact them, the Marina is liable if anything happens to the geese.

My experience has been that government offices/officials care more about the things they're assigned to protect than the comfort of people involved.

Should be interesting...

Top 10 Comments You Don't Make to an Aspiring Author

Since I was ten, I've wanted to be a published author.  I remember reading an article in the Wall Street Journal proclaiming that Harlequin was looking for romance writers.  If I'd had any idea at all about romance, I'd have been all over that.  Instead, I created activity books for my sisters and friends.  I think my mother still has one of them tucked lovingly away that she pulls out at opportune times to embarrass me.  When I see it, a little spark of pride tingles in my belly.    Silly, but then again, I've never claimed to be the epitome of maturity.

Throughout the long crusade for that elusive traditional publishing contract, I've written a half dozen books, self-published two, sent hundreds--thousands--of queries, received dozens--hundreds--of rejections (most don't answer, in case you're doing the math) and accumulated more advice than can fit into one person's brain.

But some advice does stick.  Some, I've acquired from others; some I've observed.  Most has to do with how to react when someone tells you they've written a book.

Please take note - if you're one of the very talented authors I've met along the way and have been in the trenches, taken your knocks and still persevered, this advice does not apply to you.  You can say anything you like.  It's understood that you mean these responses in the spirit of :
a. "I'd love to buy your book, but I've just spent over three grand and sold $12.34 worth of eBooks and my partner will kill me if I spend one more penny on writing."
b. "I know someone who landed an agent/got a publishing contract/ won a contest/received a 'not awful' rejection from an agent and if they can do it, so can we!"
c.  "Hold me.  I need a hug..."

For the rest of you, if you haven't been there, don't go there!  Or here, rather.  Anyway.  Here goes.

When a writer tells you they've written a book, do not answer (All are preceded with "Great!", but it became
irritating to repeat it):
1. "I'll see if my library has it."
2. "I have a friend with a Kindle; maybe they'll loan it to me."
3. "Can I have a copy?  I have a lot of writer friends -- they always give me free copies."
4. "I have a great idea for a book -- I should tell you about it and when you write it up, we can split the royalties 50/50"
5.  "My family says I should write a book about my life; I'm soooo interesting."
6. "If they ever make a movie version, let me know and I'll download it on Netflix."
7. "I have a friend who wrote a book and she blogged about it to her millions of followers and they all bought a copy and now she's a gazillionaire and lives in Tuscany and writes about being a successful author/blogger."
8.  "How many have you sold?  If J.K. Rowlings can do it, what's wrong with your stuff?"
9. "Have you read insert really famous, really rich author here?  His/her stuff is JUST like yours  and they have a gazillion fans.  I just went to a book signing of theirs and the lines stretched around the corner.  Good thing I bought my book ahead of time; the store pre-ordered hundreds and ran out of all of them.  I'll send you their link on Amazon/Goodreads/New York Times Best Seller List.  Bet you'll see their books are just like yours."

And.

My favorite of all time:
10. "I have her book - I keep it in the bathroom in case I run out of toilet paper"  This was actually said, at a party, in my presence.  To this day, I want to believe it was just an incredibly horrible attempt at humor.

Keep in mind, you can think these answers, just don't say them.

Please.

But if you do, please read Workshop 'Til You Drop.  You may not make the comments again...

Living Aboard - Questions, Questions, Questions...

Earlier I posted about the many questions I get asked from people who are curious about my life as a liveaboard.  Repeating a few here just to bring newbies up to date.
1. How do you stay warm?  I turn up the thermostat - two zone air conditioner/heaters keep us very comfortable.
2. What do you do for electricity/water/Internet?  Hook up and pay our bills - much like everyone else.
3. Where do you put your clothes, shoes and other personal stuff?  Closets, drawers, draped over the settee in the aft cabin because I'm too lazy to fold things and put them away.

But recently, I was presented with a comment that I'd never heard before.  And yes, technically, this post is about questions, but the comment required an answer, so it's an indirect question.

"I could never live on board a boat because of all the spiders."

Huh.

Me:  There aren't any spiders.
Sweet Elderly Lady (SEL): Boats always have spiders.  Lots of spiders.
Me:  Not my boat.
SEL:  All boats have spiders.  You must be very brave.
Me: No spiders.  No snakes.  No roaches.  No bugs or creepy crawlies of any kind.
SEL:  I hate spiders.  All boats have spiders.

Seriously.  No spiders.  You can peek at the accommodations.  The pictures have not been Photoshopped.  No spiders.  Really.

Triumph Charters - Come Sail with Us!

I Made It! - Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award (ABNA) - Quarter Finalists Announced

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award (ABNA)

10,000 to 2,000 to 500 - Workshop 'Til You Drop made the quarter finalist cut!  Next announcement comes in June.

So excited.  This is the first time something I've created has been recognized at this level.

Now if I can get people to buy the silly thing.

Hey, it's only $3.99 for the eBook, $9.99 for the print version!  Get on the bandwagon!  Buy your copy while it's unknown - you can say you were ahead of the curve!

Too much?


Too bad...

Book Signings and Other Author Acoutrements

Heading off to Wisconsin for a book signing for Workshop 'Til You Drop.  It's been almost two years since I had my first book signing at the library in Poynette, WI.  That was for The Basement Office.  Since then, we lost a boat 1000 miles off the coast of New England, nearly lost our lives, bought a new boat, had that boat boarded by a mentally unstable guy, had several new engineering contracts - some good, some bad - and experienced several tiffs with people in the various marinas.

Taking a pro-active approach to my books and moving them forward, I've entered several contests, some paid, some free, submitted to various agents and editors and even a publishing company.

Self-published Workshop 'Til You Drop and wrote the first half of my memoir and currently working on a book length analysis of a current television program for Harlequin eFirst - Harlequin Pop!

Had our new boat, the Triumph, appear in a SyFy schlock-fest, Stonados and an upcoming Vince Vaughn movie, The Business Trip.



Also learning Italian.

Not sure what the next two years will bring, but I'm sure it will be interesting.

Man Breaks Into Boat on Boston Harbor - Unhappy Birthday Surprise

http://www.wcvb.com/news/Couple-finds-stranger-making-himself-at-home-on-their-housebost/25370752#!C90I8 

Really bizarre!  We came home from the Red Sox game to find this nut job taking possession of our boat.  He ate an apple, Doug's birthday cake, smoked some cigars and had beers lined up to wash it all down.  Weird.  Very weird.  He welcomed us calling the police as he said they would support his claim of ownership.  

Weird.  Very weird...